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  1. you’ll pick up more chicks (see DiCaprio, Leo and Clooney, George)
  2. what you’ll save by using rechargeable batteries in your sex toys could buy a small vacation home
  3. the transition to solar power for your hot tub might help your political career (see Gore, Al)
  4. your taste in music will improve (see Phish…well, maybe not)
  5. green washing gets your clothes 30% cleaner
  6. the Energy Star rating on your bong will impress scads of people
  7. you can revitalize that flagging acting career (see Hannah, Daryl)
  8. you’ll improve the marketing viability of those crocheted organic cotton thongs your grandma makes
  9. your investment in that foil-covered family room with the grow lamps will finally pay off when the wonder fiber — hemp, is legalized
  10. PETA will stop spray painting slogans on your Hummer with the coyote-fur seat covers
  11. Ed Begley will put a good word in for you with that Prius dealer
  12. your Human Contact Phobia will come in handy – trees don’t hug back
  13. you’ll finally be able to explain the moss growing in your Barcalounger
Related:  (sort of)  10 reasons not to go green