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  • Townhouse developments – vast tracts of middle-class housing in cookie cutter formations stretching as far the eye can see. Frightening.
  • PlayStation, Sega and Nintendo – the annual transition to next-generation gaming platforms will create mountains of played-out Gameboys and Xboxes that will soon block out the sun while simultaneously creating a generation of adults with arthritically crippled and out-sized thumbs…
  • Celebrity hypocricy – how many bodyguards can fit into one Escalade en route to that 11th Hour premiere?
  • Shopping at Walmart – can it really be good business for China to poison its best customers? Everything’s on sale everyday…including America.
  • Congressional harassment – our elected representatives can’t be relied upon to focus on legislation when young pages, money toting lobbyists and gay men’s room entrapment schemes keep them from their work.
  • Stephen Colbert – the sawed-off comic has befriended Bill O’Reilly, violated the Endangered Species Act by adopting a bald eagle, and denied the existence of both evolution and global warming thus contributing to the decline of Western Civilization as we now know it…
  • Designer re-usable bags – the point is to replace the noxious and pervasive plastic bag, not gain entry into Lindsay Lohan’s next ‘I just busted out of re-hab and got a big movie deal’ after-party.
  • Sustainability – the spelling and mis-spelling of this word will waste an estimated 137 million man-hours per year that could be otherwise used to save the global environment.
  • Cats – kitty litter disposal is an odiferous and growing concern to many Americans.*
  • Cell phones – I’ve got nothing here but I needed a 10th threat. Any ideas appreciated.

*(misrepresentation to enrage cat lovers and increase traffic to this site)