Most corporate execs are full of it so here’s a bag to put it in…alright I’m just kidding, these bags are for the other kind of poop, doggy-do. Made of corn and fully biodegradable in 45 days — a great way to help you, the earth and your pooch deal with his daily business.
40 bags in each box for $5.95 @ 3rliving.com
The following individuals are recognized by AltCon for exceptional excellence in their dogged and determined avoidance of all things green.
FINALISTS:
- Take your pick of fur wearers and fur packers (small pets) Paris, Mary J Blige, Cindy Crawford and the Oslen twins. These ladies and their BFF’s have endangered more small creatures and been swathed in more dead animal pelts than the Inuits, Zsa Zsa Gabor and Davey Crockett combined.
- Baseball’s Roger Clemens for his efforts to aid ‘human growth’ and better living through chemicals. The ‘Rocket’ is also rumored to have filled several Toronto and Staten Island landfills with his personal medical waste.
- Neo-con Man of the Decade, Dick ‘WMD’ Cheney for his tireless work (in tandem with noted global warming experts Ford, Exxon and GM) in support of the EPA’s torpedoing of California’s tougher emissions laws.
- Britney’s little sister, Jamie Lynn Spears, for her enthusiastic work with Zero Population Growth, Planned Parenthood and the National Association for Abstinence and Christian Values.
- The Japanese Government for its noble pursuit of vital whale research. This whale-saving study just happens to include the harpooning of 1,000 whales. (they may have second thoughts)
But enough of these underachievers, our one man environmental wrecking crew, and winner for the seventh consecutive year…the 2007 ‘I Hate the Color Green’ winner…no mystery here… G.W. Bush!!!
We doubt any one politician or individual will ever equal the damage and destruction wrought by our honoree and his unflagging disdain and disregard for all manner of environmental regs and protections which, coupled with his squinty-eyed, oblivious disregard for all scientific gobbledygook and reasoned environmental analysis makes George our anti-treehugger of the year.
His proud stand against all things eco-friendly bespeaks a man hellbent on maximizing profits and shareholder value. G.W. has opened our National Parks to mining and logging, held fast against tightening emissions laws, threatened tiny owls, salmon, wolves, polar bears, and I presume kittens, rolled back powerplant emissions standards, weakened all manner of environmental regs and agencies, pushed for oil drilling in wilderness preserves, ignored Katrina victims, developed thousands of acres of wetlands, dumped vats of cash into Iraq and just generally run amok.
But, when all is said and done; it’s his tireless work as the ultimate global warming naysayer that sets him apart from the run-of-the-mill celeb-utards, auto manufacturers and big oil execs. As the Anti-Gore, George has tried his best to paint over all things green with a gray, oil soaked patina. The man has set a standard that will take decades, and dozens upon dozens of corrupt Congressmen to dismantle. Congratulations G.W.!!
In recognition of his work against nature and the environment Georgie will be receiving our coveted ‘green-free’ gift bag shipped directly to his ranch in a non-biodegradable Styrofoam container, carved in the shape of Greenland circa 1957, which includes:
- two rayon/polyester blend ‘I Hate Green’ tees with vinyl lettering and 20 year spot resistant coating
- a 100% wild coyote fur all-weather parka
- a choice of puppies from the Caged in Arkansas Puppy Mill
- a one year lease of the lowest mpg gas guzzler we can find – made in Detroit of course
- 50 cases of Jennifer Aniston-endorsed Smart Water
- a one year subscription to Appalachian Strip Miner Weekly
- an impressive assortment of certified animal tested skincare products – a $200 value
- an all-leather wardrobe from Louis Vuitton with matching monogrammed baby-sealskin luggage
- steaks, steaks steaks – all the Kobe beef and pen-raised veal you can eat
- a $500 gift certificate to ShopChinese.com
- all the Frito Lay products you can fit in your Humvie courtesy of Lime.com
Related: 13 ways to spot an eco-poser
More people would recycle if they had attractive and hygienic containers like these recycling bins made of 90% recycled polypropylene from the UK. These containers are designed to last a lifetime, although fully recyclable themselves. Each bin has a 37 litre capacity – enough for 15 wine bottles, two weeks of newspapers or 50 cans. They claim that three bins will provide enough storage for all the recyclables generated by the average four-person household in a week. They can be used individually or stacked.
Made and sold in the UK. Anyone seen them in the U.S.?
£49.99 @ natural collection
Standard UK Delivery £4.50
Appalachian Spring originated in Washington, DC in 1968 to offer the community new, unique, quality, useful and beautiful products. The store owners, Paula and David Brooks, searched the Appalachian states, from Maine to Alabama, for skilled artists and craftspeople who best expressed American creativity. Now with five stores in DC and Richmond, Appalachian Spring still carries beautiful, functional handcrafts mostly from the Appalachian States. The company has twice been voted #1 US store for American craft.
Exquisite glass vases, perfume bottles, paperweights, ikebana and more can be found here.
Feel like relaxing on a magic carpet ride? Handmade and hand loomed from natural wool, lounge comfortably at home on a flying carpet from ninamarquina. Available in 3 different colors, and 2 different sizes, for those who may not like sitting on a traditional couch. Sold in NYC at Design Within Reach, Aronson’s and the Terence Conran Shop. Visit ninamarqina for more details.
Responsible toy company, Maple Landmark Woodcraft, keeps it local whenever possible. Using local Vermont wood, local business, and even a local bank and insurance company, Maple Landmark Wood devotes only 1% of its budget to foreign-source items. Their high quality wood, mostly maple, pine, and cherry, abides by Vermont’s Land Use Program, which requires sustainable harvest. Maple Landmark Woodcraft donates sawdust and scraps to local farmers and residents to use for cattle bedding and kindling, uses mostly recycled packaging, and avoids over-packaging to reduce waste.
For toys that meet even tougher standards, try out their natural line, safely made with finishes such as beeswax/tung oil or nothing at all. This Natural Classic Fire Truck is $45.
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