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  • Dick Cheney just installed solar panels on his secret, underground bunker.
  • That property your grandpa left you in the Oklahoma dust-bowl is now waterfront.
  • After standing in a shopping mall parking lot for 10 minutes Michael Jackson is black again.
  • Tom Cruise directs the board of the Church of Scientology to lower thermostats by 2 degrees, mirroring his energy saving efforts in his 12 homes.
  • You can fry an egg on your laptop.
  • Detroit automakers are going to look into “this global warming thing.”
  • Earlier this year the reflected sunlight off Britney Spears’ shaved head has caused the Hubble Space Telescope to burn out.
  • The Bush administration has added the “No Child Left Out in the Sun” program to its educational and childcare programs.
  • Polar bears interrupt an outdoor hockey game in Flint, MI searching for ‘good’ ice.
  • The harvesting of corn to produce ethanol has caused the price of a 12oz. freezer pack of Green Giant Creamed Corn to sky-rocket to $49.95.