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You know these people. Like me, you may also fit the description in those weak moments when convenience trumps sustainability (please step away from that 12 oz Evian bottle). We must all try to do ‘bettah.’

  • They can be spotted with a ‘I’m Not a Plastic Bag’ dangling from their arm, swigging from a 32 oz ‘Smart Water’ bottle, while walking a dog bred in a cage in Kansas by a guy who dumps animal do-do in the stream behind his shed.
  • They fervently support alternative energy but don’t want that wind turbine obscuring the view from their beach chair on their inherited ocean-front estate…right, Teddy?
  • They just had solar panels installed on the ‘weekend’ house but leave the engine running on the Range Rover when they ‘pop’ into Starbucks for that latte.
  • They fly thousands of miles to Hawaii and Bali for global warming conferences on the private jet and tool around paradise in a limo…Al?
  • They strap-on an organic cotton ‘Stop the Emissions’ t-shirt under a Prada, croc jacket, and accessorize with a stunning pair of ‘blood’ diamond earrings for the drive with their assistant to the mailbox with that fat donation to ‘Save the Whales’ – on their way to the airport for the flight to Sundance for a series of glutton-ish pseudo-celeb, swag parties.
  • They religiously watch Nat Geo, Animal Planet and Discovery Channel on the 27 flat-panel tv’s in their geo-thermal powered home.
  • They do a documentary on global warming and then fly around the globe chasing eco-tail?
  • They’re on both the mailing list for PETA and the Victoria’s Secret catalog.
  • They purchase carbon offsets, drive a Bentley, eat only the finest steaks, burn 50,000 kilowatts a day in their 5 homes, support solar but think the panels look ‘icky’ on the Spanish villa they bought from that poor bastard in Paraguay.
  • They wear a ‘Global Warming’s Not Hot’ t-shirt while exposing their privates to 300 or so SUV-driving-paparazzi while bar-hopping…Paris, Lindsay…
  • There’s a ‘Made in China’ label sticking out of their 100% jute gladiator sandals.
  • As a presidential candidate, they make 12 speeches in support of alternative energy subsidies while flying to 7 states in 24 hours on 6 different private jets, accompanied by a 63-person entourage that caravans from speech to speech in a fleet of 15 overstuffed Escalades.
  • They write for an eco-friendly blog, but refuse to fix that dripping faucet in their bathroom…