No, No, No…don’t have a hairdo that is taller than 47% of the people in Asia. Amy Winehouse has taken high hair to another level. Rumor has it that it takes a minimum of 4 cans of Extra Hold Hairspray to maintain the structural integrity of this hairdo – enough aerosol propellant to create a gap in the ozone layer as big as Bermuda.

Don’t wear a get-up that sends all the orangutans in the Bronx Zoo into heat. The overabundance of fur and leather, not to mention the over processing of each to reach this “desirable” shade of what shall we call it, blood red or vapid blue simply raises the bar on the already over the top “ICK” factor. Inspired by a certain simian wardrobe from the ‘Wizard of Oz’ perhaps? We will just call it the Monkey Love Waiter’s Jacket. Sharing the blame are designers P Diddy and Jill Stuart.

Don’t buy a shoe that can’t go up a 20 degree incline. Fashion designer Antonio Berardi’s spring 08 RTW heel-less shoe is the picture of pain. Paltrow, Beckham and Uma have reportedly shelled out the big bucks for these heeless monstrocities. For those ladies aspiring to reach an ‘unnatural’ high. Don’t try to ‘kick-back’ in these $3300 pumps.

Don’t start wearing that wolf fur vest just because G.W. took canis lupus off the endangered list. Perhaps a sandwich might be a good idea instead…

Don’t wear anything that has killed more cattle than Hurricane Katrina…no matter how good you look.

Don’t wear feathers and fur hats unless you actually are a pimp. Faux rockstars like my man Dave Navarro should stick to nipple piercings, scrotum rings and leotards and leave the birds and furry creatures alone.