April 22 brings the annual celebration of Earth Day, and the requisite avalanche of green op-ed pieces, eco-sermons, green instructional aids and eco-friendly product launches. In keeping with tradition (I’m starting one) I have created a list of Earth Day Don’ts to help guide those blinded by the soot and grime of our globally warmed world.
- Don’t climb into any vehicle larger than a Prius to drive to your local Earth Day event. Car pool, steal a bike, take public transportation or walk to your local Climate Change speak easy.
- Don’t buy anything on Earth Day. If you need to eat and crave a massive hoagie build it out of found materials. Need a drink? Try some tap water. Put off buying that plasma screen to watch the Earth Day festivities on the tube until Christmas 2015 or so…
- If you want to relive your Woodstock experience don’t do it by adorning your graying mane with store bought flowers. Find some wild flowers or re-purpose some dried flowers from that dusty vase on the mantle to accent you thinning locks.
- Try not eat or use anything pre-packaged (it’s harder than you think) as a test of both your tolerance for pain and a measure of your eco-commitment.
- Don’t bag your day job to attend your local green event if — you work security for a nuclear power plant, you’re the foreman at the local recycling plant, you have to sneak away from your air traffic controller work station, you’re the campaign manager for Al Gore’s secret run for the Democratic Party’s presidential nomination, and last but not least…if you’re playing left field for the Red Sox in a night game on the 22nd.
Now get out there and be green about it.
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Here at TitanTv, we’re so proud to hear that everyone is chipping in and doing their best to participate in Earth Day 2008. Here is a funny piece we did, while informing people in the streets of New York, how they, too, can have a great April 22nd.
http://video.titantv.com/content/00010110/video.aspx
6) Don’t wear your alligator boots while driving your Hummer to Black Angus.