five kooky steps to greener grooming
by rd @ 4:16 pm post a comment »
- Save water: Bathe once a week or with multiple partners, the former will enhance your aromatic loner persona while the latter will definitely complicate your social life but may work against zero population growth.
- Use only organic haircare products filled with extracts from rare Amazonian plants…oh crap, just shave your head.
- Try my new exfoliant made from recycled bear scat. Not only will you develop a healthier, more supple complexion, but you will get plenty of elbow room at company picnics and social events.
- Forgo electric and disposable razors by using only DIY and found materials to shave your visage, like broken coke bottle remnants, used chunks of an airplane fuselage or sharpened repurposed kitchen utensils like the handy potato peeler - remember to lubricate with plenty of bear scat before shaving…Other option - multi-task and go all-Grizzly Adams while also creating a rare bird sanctuary in the resultant facial hair.
- Deodorize. Affix the succulent fresh leaves of fragrant herbs and plants such as: lavender, basil, rosemary, thyme and for a select adventurous few, dill, to accentuate your all-natural personal essence. Now if I can eliminate this duct tape from the process I will have achieved a new green standard in personal hygiene…
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