Let’s have a little fun with the less-than-green Alaskan Governor…
- The governor will mandate that all Alaskan state correspondence be delivered by dog sled.
- She will cut down the amount of fuel consumed in the aerial hunting of wolves and bears by restricting the shooting of the predators from the air to: hot air balloons, gliders and State of Alaska planes on official government business.
- She pledges to cut down on the family use of air polluting snowmachines to under 20,000 miles per year – a net drop of 10%.
- The governor will issue polar bear fur parkas to all state employees and mandate that they be worn indoors, allowing the state to set thermostats to 55 degrees in all state office buildings. This will also help mitigate that pesky polar bear ‘problem’ by reducing the number of endangered bears that can be photographed by do-gooders and the lefto media.
- Sarah pledges to stop using her electric carving knife when hacking up those moose carcasses.
- She will open up restricted wildlife preserves like Anwar by utilizing the remaining cash from the “Bridge to Nowhere” pork allotment to pay to ship all endangered wildlife across the border to Canada.
- Mrs. Palin will reduce our reliance on foreign oil and create a new renewable energy source by authorizing the harvesting of whales and seals for their energy-rich fat and blubber which can be processed into bio-fuel.
- The Palin family will stop riding with the windows down on their daily commute from Wasilla and pledge to regularly check the tire pressure on their 300 hp SUV.