• You think buying local means finding the nearest Walmart…
• Photos of Sarah Palin cause a stirring in your loins…
• It takes 3 guys and a truck to deliver your weekly bottled water order…
• You spend more than 2 hours a week sitting in your car listening to NPR with the engine running…
• The counter people at the local Mickey D’s know you by your first name…
• You drive to the end of your driveway to pick up the paper each morning…
• Your ‘smoke’ break at work is the highlight of your day…
• Your mcmansion pulls enough amps to qualify you for the business rate with your power company…
• You replaced the bike rack on your car with a gun rack…
• When you have trouble sleeping you slam in that “Inconvenient Truth” DVD and you go right out…

related: 13 ways to spot an eco-poser