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  • Use a solar cooker to roast all your barbecued goodies.  Check the weather forecast and start cooking on July 3rd.
  • Invite Al Gore over for a barbecue – make sure you have plenty of potato salad and corn relish.  Al’s such a big eater you may want to invest in carbon offsets to counter-balance his food intake!
  • Take the heartfelt advice of my neighbor, Four Fingered Tony – lock-up any explosives or fireworks before you start guzzling any organic wine, vodka or tequila.
  • Keep your event’s size manageable.  Invite only guests descended from countries that have adhered to the guidelines of the Kyoto Agreement.  This will guarantee plenty of room on the dance floor and ensure tons of leftovers.
  • Create a menu of strictly local fare.  Avoid this approach if your patio is located next to a Nebraska cattle feedlot, your vegetable garden is regularly irrigated by run-off from the local coal mine, or your neighbor’s cloned sheep are known to sport a couple of extra, calorie-rich appendages.