• The term ‘alternative energy’ was code for taking speed during finals.
• You recall when ‘greenhouse gas emissions’ were just a by-product of someone eating a bad burrito.
• You remember when ‘bio-fuel’ was something your neighbor Barry called his stanky homegrown weed.
• Recycle, reuse have been important to you for quite some time, as evidenced by the vintage Jordache jeans and Bananarama t-shirt you pulled out of your dresser drawer for last week’s Allman Brothers concert.
• You remember when ‘going solar’ meant George Hamilton lounging by the pool in his Speedo working on his tan.
• ‘Sustainability’ was primarily a term used to describe a man’s sexual prowess, or lack thereof.

more eco humor

We thought it appropriate to ‘revisit’ the concept of the eco poser.

You know these people. Like me, you may also fit the description in those moments of weakness when convenience trumps sustainability (please step away from that 24-pack of Poland Spring). We must all strive to do ‘bettah.’  Eco posers:

• think the Sierra Club is a Rehab Center and Spa, out west
• wear a “Save the Planet” t-shirt, designed by Bono, under their Mark Jacobs lambskin jacket
• Louis Vuitton reusable bags cost more than most major appliances
• are celebrities who make sure to get photographed riding a bike around Hollywood but fly everywhere in a private jet
• fervently support alternative energy, but don’t want an ugly wind turbine obscuring their view of the neighboring townhouse development
• would love to give up their SUV, but can’t – because they’re short and they like to be “above the traffic”
• monthly energy consumption bronzing at the tanning salon exceeds the annual electric consumption of 3 African nations
• write for an eco blog, but leave their laptop on day and night, hate the light from those CFLs and still haven’t fixed that drip in the shower…

Related:  13 ways to spot an eco poser (2.1.08)

Oh, what a tasty bowl of corporate hypocrisy!  Kellogg has decided to drop Olympic medalist and bong boy Michael Phelps over that picture of him partaking of a little ganja from a festive, fruit-colored bong.  Let’s ignore for uno momento the fact that Kellogg has previously had no problem with Mr. Phelps publicly ingesting vast quantities of equally intoxicating and more vile, alcohol.  What about Kellogg’s own propensity for foisting sugar laden, health endangering confections such as Cheez-Its, Pop Tarts, Eggos, Fruit Loops and my personal favorite – Kellogg’s Disney Hannah Montana cereal with strawberry milkshake flavoring – on the impressionable kiddies of America?

Remember kids, we’re told unbridled marijuana use can (more…)

• You think buying local means finding the nearest Walmart…
• Photos of Sarah Palin cause a stirring in your loins…
• It takes 3 guys and a truck to deliver your weekly bottled water order…
• You spend more than 2 hours a week sitting in your car listening to NPR with the engine running…
• The counter people at the local Mickey D’s know you by your first name…
• You drive to the end of your driveway to pick up the paper each morning…
• Your ‘smoke’ break at work is the highlight of your day…
• Your mcmansion pulls enough amps to qualify you for the business rate with your power company…
• You replaced the bike rack on your car with a gun rack…
• When you have trouble sleeping you slam in that “Inconvenient Truth” DVD and you go right out…

related: 13 ways to spot an eco-poser

A Valentine’s gift, perhaps? No, these items aren’t marketed to that lonely sheep herder sequestered in some mountain cabin miles from civilization with only his sexy Border Collie, Delores, and a flock of sheep to keep him company…

These are chew toys for all you pet crazy folks who want to go all “Paris Hilton” when it’s playtime for Fido.  These Fab Dog chew toys even contain the prerequisite squeekers and are made of ‘fabric.’

you can find both the Bra Plush Toy and the Leopard Print Thong @ amazon.com

via: inventorspot

The great, global warming ‘denier’ is hanging up his spurs.

George Bush is heading back to the ranch to break out the brush cutters, chainsaw and bass rod – oil companies and defense contractors should start fast-tracking a purchase order for a top-of-the-line, cushy seat on their board of directors for the consummate ‘decider,’ and soon to be ex-President.  Time for the cowboy to cash in those chips — he certainly earned them.  The man created an energy policy right out of the Exxon Annual Report and has kissed enough Saudi Princes to need a prescription for both ChapStick and lip gloss.  Not exactly a shining green legacy; (more…)

The new year ushers in an avalanche of ‘Trends for 2009′ posts and resolutions to get ‘greener.’  My contribution to the mudslide of eco-friendly pronouncements is my green acronyms for 2009 – C.U.R.B.

C – conserve – waste less water, energy, time and materials.

U – unplug – go off-grid: walk, bike, hike and get out in nature.

R – reuse – bags, food containers, clothes, paper.  You get the idea.

B – believe – all the small changes made by individuals can make a giant difference.

UPDATE:  1.16.09 – Winners Notification – It’s Official, we have two lucky, happy winners:  Layne and Laureen!  Congratulations, and thanks to everyone for participating. This giveaway is closed, kaput, over and out.  Our next giveaway begins this afternoon, so be sure to check it out.

(Original Post:)

This is a very special Great Green Giveaway sponsored by Madison Square Garden Entertainment’s Speaker Series 2009: the minds that move the world.  This is a pre-sale Special Event!

Here’s the deal.  We’re giving away a pair of tickets to 2 different Live & Uncensored events taking place at NYC’s Radio City Music Hall. Tickets officially go on sale January 11. Each pair of tix valued at $129. There will be 2 winners, each to receive one pair of tickets. Giveaway does NOT include transportation.

• 8pm, Monday, March 9, 2009 Bill Maher and Ann Coulter Humorous Perspectives, Serious Issues
• 8pm, Tuesday, March 31, 2009 Anderson Cooper interviews Arianna Huffington, D.L. Hughley and Mike Huckabee Free Speech and the Power of the Press

to enter:  simply enter a comment on this post telling us which show you’d like to see, and why you’d like to go.

add the following address to your email address book:
m at alternativeConsumer dot com.

2 Winners names will be selected at random on Thursday, January 15. Winners will be notified by email at approximately 6pm.  Winners need to reply to “You Are a Winner Announcement” within 24 hours, or offer is null and void.  Winners names will be updated on this post.

*Also, you may buy your tickets ahead of the general public TODAY thru 1/10/09 before they go on sale to the general public Sunday, January 11, 2009 10am. Blog readers use code GREEN to Buy tickets ahead @ speakerseries2009.com Check out the full schedule, with events featuring V.P. Al Gore in Boston and Chicago. Ticketmaster prices vary from $49.50-$179.50/per ticket.

• You hired an assistant to follow you through stores wheeling a second shopping cart…
• You’re stranded on Interstate 80 wondering if you should have taken that spare tire out of your trunk for the extra storage space…
• You’ve purchased something for everyone including Mr. Slippers your cat, and you’re now contemplating buying gifts for several of your potted plants…
• When you return home from the mall your 12 passenger mini-van seats one comfortably…
• Your husband and dog will be sleeping in the garage until 12/25 to accommodate the gift stockpile in your bedroom…
• You had to re-finance your home to pay for wrapping paper…
• Your family room has been converted into a storage facility for game controllers, joysticks and AA batteries…
• Over 40 acres of old growth forest will be needed to wrap the items in your ‘Christmas Grab’…
• It takes your kids more than a day to open their gifts…
• Your December credit card statement will come parcel post…